How I feel about now.......

Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself
and the fact that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire
in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And to know that if I do this,
you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
therefore I will trust you always
though I may seem lost in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Amen

(Thomas Merton)

It last rained in April.....

and now, finally, two days of rain this week. It was almost surreal There was another fire at the ranch, but for a while, things are wet. The good thing is that the parched pastures will start to green up and the poor critters can have something besides hay.

Saw the neurologist this past week. He is so against surgery on backs that I was stunnned when he said we needed to do a laminectomy. I asked why, since he once told me never to let anyone near my back with a knife. He says, that does not apply unless you are out of anything else to try, and I seem to be there. So we are waiting for clearance from the other neurologist, the caridologist and the GP.