Sunday, November 15, 2009

a phone call

When I heard from my sister the other day, it was a great suprise. We had talked briefly a few times since we left Florida. She's in a really bad way and I will phone our mutual cousin to try to set up some help for her. This situation is one of those generational things. We were abused both physically and emotionally as children, but we responded very differently. I didn't buy into the control the abuser needed, and was able to break the cycle later in life. My sister didn't, and her first husband was a physical and emotional abuser. Now she is married to the king of emotional abuse. I had never realized the exent of this until I talked with Mary Beth about it - she was able to clarify it. My mom was also abused as a child. Blessedly, I was able to raise children who put up with no crap from anyone. I pity anyone who tries to abuse any of them! Sister didn't and she and her children are totally estranged.
I need to credit my father who helped me break the cycle and get out of it. He was also a victim, to some extent.
So, if I can help sister Nancy get on Medicaid, get food stamps and find a free lawyer (legal aid, perhaps) who may can help her protect herself. Maybe. That's about all I can do but pray and I do that without ceasing. At 73 I am not sure she is able to even understand how she got into the mess and I'm also not sure she is not too afraid to try to get out.
May the good Lord take care of her and strengthen her.

PS Just had a phone visit with said cousin. She is all set to find all the things Nancy needs. Thank you God for family who love us.


Barbara said...

So sorry that Nancy is in such dire straits. I hope she will be able to get the help she needs and follow through on finally making the break.

MJ said...

Thanks, Barbara. It is a very bad situation. Mary Lee is getting her on Medicaid and food stamps at my request, and is getting her a free lawyer, but I don't think she has the backbone to do anything about her situation. I am suggesting that the $ I am sending her be kept by Mary Lee as Tom is just impossible. I think she could make the break if I were there to be her backbone, but I'm not and I can't be. Please pray for her. Cereal and noodles for a whole month and no $ for heart meds is a bad scene. Love you, m

Goodwin & Scott said...


I talked to you earlier about this...I just guess I'm amazed that she's finally taken even the smallest "big girl pill" and chose to call you for help. 'Bout damn time! Let me know if I can help too. I don't know how we'd do it - but I'd love to see her away from that sychophant. ns