Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas eve, eve

Somehow the eve of Christmas eve has always evoked awe in me. Just the idea of what is coming tomorrow night is just barely believable. But it happened and without it we would all be doomed. Jesus came and did all the things He had to do and died in the most horrible way possible - and God left Him in the midst of all this - and we are the eternal benefactors. I am more deeply grateful than I can say. At least we have a face to put to God, in the person of Jesus. We know that angels are not people and don't even look like people. In fact they are downright scary in looks. One of them has a face on each side of his head - scary ones too. And one has three sets of wings in order to cover itself completely. They can be so scary that the first thing they have to say to persons who see them is "fear not" or "fear nothing" or words to that effect. They are personages and God is even more of a personage. I read a book this week in which I found these words. " No one who is a Christian can describe God. If anyone describes God, he is not a Christian." This is because, while we have attributes of God in plenty, both in old and new testaments, we have no idea what HE is really like. He has given us only two words to hold to - a verb and a noun. I AM. Just in case we wondered, God IS. And I really believe He cannot tell us more simply because we wouldn't understand a word of it if He did. I draw closer ever day to meeting Him and I hope I manage it with a modicum of grace. Just think - meeting the great I AM. It's enough to take away your breath for a very long time. As I get closer, I think about it more and more. One of these days we will all know. Glory, Hallelujah

Monday, December 19, 2011

After a wretched weekend,

with George having stomach flu and me having a sinus infection (grandaddy sized one) we are both better and glad to be alive. We decided tonight, watching tv, that oneof the nicest things about being old is that nobody wants to sell us life insurance.

Countdown to gift thingies, I hope to finish tomorrow. And my blessed Velma will do all the driving for me and run in and fetch things. We braved the grocery today and it was as bad as ever. We need a cop at every intersection. People are pretty nice about it and that is helpful

Blessings to you all in this wondrous season of our Lord's birth.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Sunday, October 9, 2011

One of my treasures, as I promisedl See author at end

The Sounds of Silence

Escape. My house teems with evidence of attempts to escape from periodic attacks of panic, boredom and untidiness. There are multiple tapes and CD’s of waves lapping at anonymous beaches, which were supposed to ease me to sleep on those nights when it won’t come - and to calm me when I get a little frantic. Bags and sacks and boxes of yarns and fleeces mark an impulse to shake off the lazy me and turn myself into a Fascinating Woman of Artistic Vision. There are remnants of many different diets, booklets, cans of supplements, bottles of pills and supplements, etc. which testify to my abandoned attempts to drop weight or to become a healthier person. There was even a bottle of L’Oreal in case I decided to become someone else by changing the color of my hair. When I’m bored or frustrated by the lack of my body’s ability to rise to the challenges I see around me every day, or disgusted by the woman in the mirror, it’s easy to opt for the quick fix or the impulsive gesture. Rather than confront an unpleasant situation, I’ll start a new book. Rather than wrestle with my relationship with God, I’ll go shopping. More yarn is always good, and it’s so distracting. And the culture we live in is more than happy to accommodate my compulsion to avoid looking inside myself.

At times, the idea of being alone with my thoughts is about as attractive as treading water in a tank full of hungry sharks. Thought I travel often, I am never without a book or a bit of handwork - something to keep me distracted. Do I really want to hear God’s voice? Sure - as long as the stereo is on and there are folks around for company. God may very well speak in the midst of such circumstances, but am I listening?

I read recently about a monastery in the mountains of Colorado. Those seeking spiritual renewal make the trek to this remote place and stay for a week or more, in Spartan huts, without TV or radio. Seeking to supplant the noise of the world with a silence that listens only for the voice of God, they soak themselves in the Word of God and wait on heavenly insight. It sounds so beautifully ascetic. The mountains, the wind in the trees, all that nature. Unfortunately, something in my jittery self is ill at ease with all that unstructured time without the pacifier of civilization. My brain wants to make a plan, color it and hang curtains. I rush in with words to fill the awkward gaps in conversations. God, I want to listen, but I can’t stand the silence!
I don’t know if a forced silent retreat is what it takes to get us “noise junkies” in touch with God’s voice. It might do to ask ourselves what it is about silence that scares us so much.

Maybe it’s the intrusive voice of a critical parent. Or an image of a personal failure for which we can’t seem to forgive ourselves. Maybe it’s the ghost of a loss, which we have yet to mourn. We sense those images, those voices rumbling ominously in the distance, just beyond our wall of noise. And it takes all the emotional energy we have to hold them there. Sadly, until we allow the natural process of grief to invade our emotional wounds, neither will we experience the soothing hands of the Great Physician. His voice will remain garbled and indistinct - muffled beneath all those layers of noise.

In the Bible, we read about the prophet Elijah,
“The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
(1 Kings 19:11-13)
And we see that the voice of God is still and small, but always there.

At this point in my life I have separated myself from the usually present noise in the background. In fact, I cannot stand what I call noise pollution. But this is only the first step in listening to God. After removing our need for noise to mask the uncertainties, then comes the hard part. I have to learn to shut out my mind and it’s need to constantly make plans, lists, decisions, what to have for dinner when we have guests next week, what to wear to church, what do I need from the grocery store, how shall I handle the difficulty in being around my dear friend and her obnoxious child without alienating her, and on and on it goes. When God says ‘be still’ he means both inside and outside, and he means for us to empty our minds of the daily interrupters and make ourselves ready to listen to Him when He speaks to us. And if we are really quiet, and really listen, we really will hear Him. It may take strong medicine to wean you and me from the noisemakers in our lives. But when it finally happens, I suspect we will hear the same gentle voice Elijah heard on that day after the wind had passed and the earth had settled. And what might we expect him to say? Perhaps he will tell us to forget about changing our hair and taking up all those hobbies which clutter up our lives. He might urge us to stop “looking for love in all the wrong places”. Unplug the TV and the stereo. Turn off the ball game. Stop running away from the silence. Make your mind open to His voice. Because in the silence rests our hope. In the silence, a friend is waiting.

In Psalm 46:10 we find the words, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Let us practice being still.
Credit Note: a great deal of this material came from the book: Playing the Tuba at Midnight by Roberta Rand

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

It's been a very, very long time

since I posted. I keep waiting for wonderful things to happen, of which I will be 'happy to report to you. They aren't here. It has been a tough summer and fall. We had many subsequent days at 110 degrees. This is just too darned hot. We
are runnning around 99 about now, and are told not to expect cold weather till the first of the year.

I am turning 80 on the 6th of October. DH is now 86 and our children are giving us an "octogeniarian" birthday party. I can hardly wait. We have many friends in church and I have womens groups which include education, knitting for ICU babies and knitting for prayer shawls, not to mention the kknitting for children and grands and greats.

We saw the high school homecoming last week (we lost) and saw granddaughter Mally cheer and march with the band. Next we will go to one of the games each to see Saxon and Spencer play. HOnestly, football scares me a bit for this age child - but then they didn't ask me.

We are eating out the freezer so I can thaw it, and it's full of multi goodies.

I have back surgery scheduled for 13 of October, and will have to wear a brace for a while afterwards. When this is all well, I will probably have to have this last knee replaced. This is all of me except for the right shoulder, and since I don't have to walk on it, I may just let it go.

Blessings to all of you===============

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


As promised, I am offering selections from books I love. This is aAne Rivers Sidons only non-fiction book. I will be offering more of her work later on....Let me know if this lights up your life -I hope if will.

John Chancellor Makes Me Cry by Anne Rivers Siddons
Page 21:”Outside the kitchen, the ice shawled down”
When I first read the word ‘shawled’, my first reaction was “You cannot do that!. You can't take a noun and turn it into a verb! You just can’t!” The long time teacher in me was roaring out!. Then I realized that, of course she could. She had, after all, just done it!. And I can’t deny that it’s a lovely word, even if it does break rules. Shawls are important to me. I make shawls. When I first began weaving them, I was using the beater so firmly that the cloth almost stood up by itself when I took it off the loom. I had to learn not to beat so hard. I had always done everything full tilt, so it was a hard lesson. But who wants a shawl that won’t shawl? See, I can do it, too, ARS.

January 2003 1

# Books Worth Rereading (Excerpts), and things to think about some more:

tilt, so it was a hard lesson. But who wants a shawl that won’t shawl? See, I can do it, too, ARS.

Page 245: “The thin scrim of blue that hangs over the hills doesn’t obscure but it colors. Farther north, into North Carolina, where they grow wild and fierce, stretching toward the two mile-high mark, these mountains are called the Great Smokies, because of that shawling gauze.”

Page 246:”the wildflower color of the mountain hardwoods that is so glorious in early October had long since bled away; we were left with the tawny shawls of kudzu and the black skeletons of hardwoods, with the black-green of the evergreens like an animal’s undercoat.”
More shawling!. And scrim is a lovely word, too.

Page : “In the summers, it is the white of peeling board cottages on stilts along the eroding beach, the dust-pink of tabby foundations, the pearly ecru of crushed oyster-shell driveways, the spindrift gray of Spanish moss, the black-green and the tomato-red of window shrouding oleanders, the opalescent wheat of the lion-colored, wind-surfed marshes, the dirty tan of the sand, the foaming hazel of the sea.”

(Ten color words in one sentence!. I love it. I also admit that is an quite a run-on sentence. But she can do this when she pleases, because I can see every one of these things. I wonder if it’s because I grew up in the same part of the South she did, and we have seen and experienced the same things? Probably. I lived at the beach a large part of my life, and yep, it’s just like she says it is. Sometimes, I take pictures of places where the colors just assault my eyes and senses!. I am hoping to translate this bombardment to photo paper until I can get to the dye pot and start trying to copy the colors to put on the loom in someway. There has to be a way. My head isn’t big enough to hold all these colors in one place at one time. I need a tactile reminder of the beauty I have seen. The colors are too magnificent to be forgotten.
And speaking of color, I once took a natural dyeing class from a very good instructor. I was overheard to grouse because my group assignment was to make variations of a brown/dun/grey, etc. and I thought the color was ugly. My instructor said “there is not such thing as an ugly color It all depends on where you put it. All of it is essential.” She was right. She also taught me that everything I made needed a ‘hit of light’ in it to make it come alive. Right again. How lucky I am to know so many astute people. How lucky I am that I actually listened to some of them. Mj)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

How I feel about now.......

Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself
and the fact that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire
in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And to know that if I do this,
you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
therefore I will trust you always
though I may seem lost in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

(Thomas Merton)

Monday, August 15, 2011

It last rained in April.....

and now, finally, two days of rain this week. It was almost surreal There was another fire at the ranch, but for a while, things are wet. The good thing is that the parched pastures will start to green up and the poor critters can have something besides hay.

Saw the neurologist this past week. He is so against surgery on backs that I was stunnned when he said we needed to do a laminectomy. I asked why, since he once told me never to let anyone near my back with a knife. He says, that does not apply unless you are out of anything else to try, and I seem to be there. So we are waiting for clearance from the other neurologist, the caridologist and the GP.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Once again, we have to wait for the quotes -

Oh well, they will always be there.

We had a good trip to Florida and I am again renewed. I did, however, go splat on the floor the first day we were there. I have had lectures about picking up my feet, and I keep trying. Happily, George, Nancy and two grands were there to help me up and minister to my various hurts - some worse than others. We had a glorious time fishing but the fish are just not here anymore. I have two theories for this. One is the climate change. Two years ago I began seeing sea creatures I have never seen before on our beaches, and when investigating I find that they are from more southern waters, heading away from the warming of the waters of the earth. The same might be said of the fish, though I think the main culprit here is the leaky oil well in our just immediate past. With one exception we caught sharks and channel catfish. Yuk. We have some other ideas about trying different places and techniques when next year comes. Saxon (elder grandchild of the Scotts) stayed home with his dad and together they tore down an old building on the place and plan to use the lumber to build a new room in the small apartment they have on the mesa. He is very proud of himself. This new action comes as a result of his turning 15, and next year will apply to Mally also. She is certainly capable of putting in a full day's work when her time comes. We will have Spencer at the beach for a couple more years.

George and I have been asked to go to a marriage seminar as mentors of sorts. I think we will go. We will soon reach our 50 year marriage mark, and all the people who predicted doom for us will have egg on their faces. It just takes work and patience and humor and love and there you have it.

Please pray for daughter Mary Beth and her husband Ken as he battles cancer It's a hard fight but they go valiantly on and will finish the course. We need a complete healing, here, just as we need your prayers for this to happen. Thank you in advance.

God has given me a curriculum for the jr. and sr. high students ar church and I was up to do it myself. Our perceptive minister, realizing that I am not in physical shape to do this alone, has worked out a roster of couples, feeling that the presence of boh men and women is important here. I will write the material I have been given and off we go! Such an adventure this will be. I am excited about it and very happy not to have the whole thing on my shoulders- particularly since I need a new left knee and will do this asap. This leaves only the right shoulder and I will be totally bionic. My spine is deteriorating with L4 and L5 having disappeared. Not sure what happens next, but I know I'll find out. There are days when I wish I didn't have to.

Blessings to all of you, those I know and those I don't. MJ

Wednesday, July 6, 2011


I guess you will have to wait for a quote that I promised last post,(and some of them are really good) because I am going to the beach for a week. This is for the healing of my very soul. To me it is the most beautiful place in the world, but them I was raised down at St. Teresa, on the gulf coast of Florida (right where Florida bends. It's a 4 mile stetch of private beach. We once had a house there, but it's gone now, however daughter Nancy and husband Scooter rent a house every summer and we go for a week. We'll fish and dig in the sand and play board games with the grands. So, so much fun. Blessings to all.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

When I spoke of rereading meaningful passages,

I am not going way back today - save that for later. I have just finished "Empire" by O.S. Card. Here is a passage from the Afterword.

"Because we haven't had a civil war in the past fourteen decades, people think we can't have one now. Where is the georaphic clarity of the Mason Dixon line? When you the red-blue state divisiion in the past few elections, you get a false impression. The real division is urban, academic and high-tech counties versus suburban, rural and conservative Christian counties. How could such widely scattered 'blue' centers and such centerless 'red' populations ever act in concert?
Geography aside, however, we have never been so evenly divided with such hateful rhetoric since the years lieading up to the Civil War of the 1860s. Because the national media elite are so uniformly progressive, we heep hearing (in the elite media) about the rhetorical excesses of the 'extreme right". To hear the same media, there is no 'exreme left", just the occasional progressive who says things he or she shouldn't.
But any rational observer has to see that the Left and Right in America are screaming the most vile accusations at each all the time. We are fully polarized - if you accept the idea that sounds like it belongs to either the blue or the red, you are assusmed- nay, required-- to espouse the entire rest of the package, even though there is no reason why support in the war agains terorism should imply you're in favor of banning all abortions and against restricting the availability of firearms, no reason why being in favor of keeping government-imposed limits on the free market shoud imply you also are in favor of giving legal status to homosexual couples and against building nuclear reactors. These issues are not remotely connected, and yet, if you hold any of one group's views, you are hated by the other group as if you believe them all. ..... it goes deeper than this,however. A good working definition of fanaticism is that you are so convinced of your views and policies that you are sure anyone who opposes them must either be stupid and deceived or have some ulterior motive....treated as if you were a traitor for deviating even slightly from the party line.
It goes deeper than this however. A good working definition of fanaticism is that you are so convinced of yuour views and policies that you are sure anyone who opposes them must either be stupd and deceived or have some ulterior motive. ......

Does tis lead inevitably to civil war? Of course not - although it's hardly conducive to stable government or the long term continuation of democracy

Saturday, July 2, 2011

complete idiots

On this subject, I have been one of these for the last week. Having found lumps in an aching breast, I was escorted to various physicians by my everloving youngest, only to find out, after writing my complete funeral service, that I did not, not, not, have cancer. Why was I so quick to accept it? No idea - I am usually not that wimpy, but somehow I did it, even with Nancy and Dad poo-poohing the whole thing. To my next crisis I now say, So What? And to my children, forgive my maundering and stewing.

In other news, my sister in Tallahassee is and has been hospitalized for some time. She has atrial fibrillation and nothing seems to stop it. I hope to see her when we go over next weekend. The trip will also give us a chance to visit MB and Ken. He has been in some misery and there will be more to go before he is well, but they soldier on (unlike me). It will be so good to be there with them and I hope to find a way to be a help to MB. They are both very special to me.

That said, I have, for some years, been copying quotes from books, bits that especially spoke to me, and I think it's time to share some of them with you. I ususally comment on them, even if briefly. So, next time look for some of these.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Is anybody out there??????????????

Friday, May 20, 2011

Friday Five

Jan says at RevGals:

Since January our Sunday Spiritual Formation hour (or Sunday School) has been devoted each week to the presenter's description of a word that describes passion/love or something. No one knows who will be presenting or what the topic will be ahead of time! Each session has been invigorating in a different way. Last week's speaker talked about "words" and finished our time by asking each one of us what "word" we wanted to share--a favorite one.

So my suggestion for today's Friday Five is to write about 5 words you really like. Please explain why you have chosen each word, in such ways as:

It is a

•description or attribute of yourself
•activity you enjoy
•word that is spelled or pronounced in an interesting way
•passion of yours
•word that brings you hope, peace, or comfort
•word you like to repeat or sing

tickle box (turned over) - because I spent so much of my childhood giggling with friends.

teaching - because I may have retired, but I will never stop teaching..

diadochokinesis- the word I used when admins started telling me how to teach. It always shut them up - they didn't want to admit they never heard of it. But it's real and needs to be addressed.

sailing - because it is the thing I am happiest doing - only it is always by myself. Just me and the boat and the ocean. What glee!

Mmmm - hope, peace and comfort? Love, of course.

Alleluia, over and over.

Jan says at RevGals:

Since January our Sunday Spiritual Formation hour (or Sunday School) has been devoted each week to the presenter's description of a word that describes passion/love or something. No one knows who will be presenting or what the topic will be ahead of time! Each session has been invigorating in a different way. Last week's speaker talked about "words" and finished our time by asking each one of us what "word" we wanted to share--a favorite one.

So my suggestion for today's Friday Five is to write about 5 words you really like. Please explain why you have chosen each word, in such ways as:

It is a

•description or attribute of yourself
•activity you enjoy
•word that is spelled or pronounced in an interesting way
•passion of yours
•word that brings you hope, peace, or comfort
•word you like to repeat or sing
Oobleck -Because I like the way it sounds. From Dr. Suess's Bartholomew and the Oobleck.


it rained. Since I first started complaining about the drought, it rained last night. The trees and what grass is left look considerably happier. As I look over the map of our country (the world is beyond me right now) I realize we can't do a thing about the tornadoes. They come and go as they will. But I watch those who live on the Mississippi losing everything, and sometimes their lives from the flood, and I look at us. The ranch fire burned 5000 acres, and incredibly (and thanks to God and the volunteer firemen) the animals, the people, the buildings are all ok. The pastures are burnt however. Other fires were not so easily contained- not that this one was easy.

There has to be a way we can dig canals from the Mississippi, so that in times like these, we can siphon off some of their flood and water our cotton and wheat, and our animals and deny fire it's gobbling up of everything in the path-- also keeping people along the rivers safely in their homes. I know, I know, it would cost a lot, but think of the plusses.

There I go, daydreaming again.....

Monday, May 2, 2011

Things need to get better....

When I grew up, in one of the books I read, I found the phrase "an achin' and a painin' and a hurtin' all over". This is a good description of my state at the moment. Off shortly to see the ortho surgeon (just one of a large assortment of doctors ). My recently replaced left shoulder is nearly rehabbed, but is still full of arthritis, so it hurts. And recently found out that left knee and right shoulder need replacing. Also left hip (already replaced) is acting up. Retirement is suupposed to be fun and games, ---trips and volunteering to help others, etc. This isn't happening around here, I fear. DH is wanting to go and visit our Houston children as well as his sisters in Lake Jackson, and I want him to go. In fact, I want to go, but have sense enough to know I won't make it. So I'll bunk in with one of the kids and he will go. Frustrating, fer sure. But - things always seem to get better, and I'm ready for it.

Blessings to all.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Monday, April 18, 2011

Just one more time for now---

I know other parts of the country are in dire straits due to tornados and too much water, but we are still suffering from fire. There are several, one of the new ones is headed toward Austin, our state Capital. "Our" fire has destroyed 130 thousand acres and is still going. Some of the planes which scoop up a large amount of water in their bellies, and then go and drop it o0n the fire, have picked up some fish along with the water. So now we have wet fried fish. Not really funny, but we need to laugh some of the time. We watch the pillars of smoke rise uup ==if they are going straight up the wind is not bad, but when they flatten out, our winds are up again. This is the timie of year we usually get all of the rain we get. George has a gadget that is supposed to tell us if it will rain, and it keeps predicting rain, but so far, no go.

In other matters, we sang our cantata last night at church and it was a wonderful exoperience. We left off the "hallelujah" part and will sing it on Sunday. God is good. Blessings to you all.

Sunday, April 17, 2011


we sang the Cantata "And Now is Christ Risen" - We have been practising for awhile. I have to sit through singing while the others stood. Too bad, but I can't stand more than about a minute. We left of the Hallelujahs, and will sing them in place of the sermon on Easter. It is really nice to have a choir singing in parts.

Nancy and the children came. I don't think Mally was too happy to be there, but the boys seemed to really enjoy it and to be glad they came. I was glad to have them here. Scooter is still in therapy 5 days a week - it's not a fast process. I have it 3 days a week.

Busy week coming up with services every night. It's a solemn and a joyful time all at once. They story has tragic parts but we know the ending and that makes it ok

Blessings to all.....

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Fires are still with us

Although the immediate danger to us is past, there are people on the east side of Angelo who are evacuating and praying. This fire just can't seem to be stopped. I heard hom many thousand acres have burned, some 70 thousand?? maybe? And there are other fires west of us. Our winds blow (really blow!) from west to east - some days I have to move plants to keep them from being broken over. Orders went out to shut down the forges, and no barbecueing. Mny of our fires start from lightening , many others from birds who land on the wrong wire near the transformers. Not so good for the birds either. We set aside days of prayer in this city - for rain when we need it, which is most of the time, for protection from fire, and protection from the proliferating masses of feral hogs. Fences don't stop them and they will eat anything not larger than themselves. Scary, scary, really mean critters.
Pray for us - we pray for you.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Grass Fires Everywhere ..

West Texas is burning right now. Homes are burned, some animals have not been able to get out, so far no persons are dead of the fire. This is a huge one, and just missed us being in the evacuate group by 15 miles. The air is very bad and downtown is covered in ash. Evacuation areas for both people and animals are open downtown and we are taking care of them all. The firemen, as they retreat in front of it are routinely cutting fences now, so the animals will have a way to get out. 35 mph winds are not helping at all.

I began to think of priorities should we be evacuated. First, all the medicines, including the insulin in the refrigerator, then a couple changes of clothing, my CPU, Any bit of jewelry worth anything and as many family pictures as I can cram into the car. Everything else in here can be replaced and may, some day, have to be. Whatever.

We have prayed for Japan and for all the places there are catastrophes happening and here is one in our backyard. None of us are immune to tragedy and we are seeing more and more of it lately. The end times? maybe - maybe not. The earth is a fragile place and is seems to be jittery lately. One thing is for sure - there is more to come.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

We are entering Holy Week

and I am growing and learning from my classes so that a newer depth will be added to this year's services and worship. But I am puzzled from last night's Bible study. We are in the gospel of John - and the consensus (sp?) is that we have to know that we need God and ask Him for his presence and for our inclusion in His people. Everyone in the room seemed to agree that this was the process. I don't like to upset a group, but I need to see Fr. Stan and find out why I never felt this need - rather, God came after me. For three days we wrestled and, as always, He won. Now I wonder how I ever lived without Him - and also why I didn't know I needed Him more. Or why I thought I had Him. I was very pleased with my life, not knowing that I had no life. Am I different, or does He have to chase down other people? Hmmmmm?


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

MRI results

After undergoing an MRI on my back, jackhammers and all, my doctors, who were sure my spine was disintegrating, found that my spine is just fine. I'm feeing better, too. It's about time.

Busy week, with services and preparing for the cantata for Palm Sunday and Easter.

Nancy says she hopes to get to grandson Kevin's wedding. I so wish we could go, but we can't, so that's that. Hope to see photos,tho. He is marring a wonderful girl- and someday I will meet her.

Pray for rain - we are surrounded by fires. Blessings to you all.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

A quiet week

It's been a long time since I've had one of these. Last month I had 17 doctor's appointments - mostly because of being in the hospital, I think they wanted to be sure I am still here, since I died while I was in there. I did schedule a sleep study. The doctor thinks that the reason I sleep aabout 12 hours every night is because I am not really sleeping well - so we will see, and if I need a breathing apparatus, I will just look like an alien.

Dear son in law (Scooter) is having surgery in the morning to fix his dreadfully messed up knee (from their skiing trip last month). We are on call to possibly go and stay while Nancy takes care of a bit of business.
Nancy put up a new bird feeder and hummer feeder for me. I have seen one hummer and the neat thing about the bird feeder is that the doves have no way to get in to eat - the openings are too small. I wouldn't mind them eating if they were in any way moderate - bu they are pigs. When they eat and raise their heads their craws bulge and hang down. Squirrels are a problem, too, cause they can't get in and have knocked it over twice. If it happens again, we will get some super glue so they can't do it. The little ones are many - I have house finches, and lots of other teeny birds. Fun to watch.
We now have a chancel choir at church and I finally get to sing in parts. I have misssed this more than I can tell you. Motets are my favorite, but this is really good. We are doing a wonderful one (No Greater Love) for Palm Sunday evening and will do the finale of "Hallelujah's" for Easter. I love our music but I have really missed a real choir.
I'm pretty sure my left knee is finally going - most other major joints are titamiun, including a new left shoulder. Still in PT for that. My PT is the greatest!.
Love to you all and many blessings. Pray for rain for our part of the country.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

How dead is dead?

Yeah, a dismal thing to blog about, but I have some concerns here. I always figured if you were dead you were just dead. I've read about people who 'see the light' and are sent back to finish living. Since I died from a seizure in the hospital a few weeks ago, and I'm back with no light around, I began to puzzle over this. My good friend Charles, died in surgery - he left his body and floated up at the ceiling while they worked on his body. Then he went back into it. No light there. Mine was a really bad seizure (just found out I am having those and hope the meds are stopping them) and my smart child called the hospital to tell them I had dropped the phone and was making weird noises - told them to go check on me. It took them awhile to make me start breathing again, but I didn't see any light. When I told my doctor I had died in the hospital, his first question was did I see the light - sisnce another of his patients had died and really seen the light. Who knows? So I have decided there is really dead, maybe dead, sorta dead and somewhat dead. Not sure where I was in this list, but I'm really glad I'm not dead. Ideas, anyone?

Monday, March 28, 2011


The computer souldn't let me in to my blog site to write! Talk about frustrated! Of course, wnhen you realize that I never touched a computer until I was 64 years old and that only because my new boss told me that I had to learn it. There are still things I can't do, but mostly I can do what I want. Sooooo - tomorrow I will begin to catch up all this time. Thanks to those of you who kcpt checking. I'm baaaaaack...