The world is so full of busy people, and just until lately, I was one of them. It's interesting to look at their lives from the point of view where I now live. I miss being busy and doing interesting things all the time - tho some of them are booooring, always. But I am learning to enjoy this time in our lives - most of it, that is. The inevitable breaking down of our corporeal
beings is just a continuing amazement to me. Our bodies have always been able to cope with most anything we can throw at them, and now they are balking and failing in so many ways. This is, of course, a natural result of living on borrowed time. I consider that God gave man three score years and ten (70 years) and any beyond that is borrowed, against the time until we leave here for our real home. We use the best available medical resources, but they can only do so much. Not sure why we fight going home so desperately. We are both sure it will be better than anything here, but it is still the unknown. Besides, we delude ourselves that our children 'need us'. If anything, we now need them, and they are always there for us.
Dad's diabetes is spiraling out of control. The doctor thinks it is a miracle that he made it 33 years with this disease with this not happening much sooner. He now has his regular injections and pills, but also will have to test his blood several times a day, and use a different kind of insulin if those times show unregulated sugars.
I look at the possiblity of having a hip replacement redone (they call it a revision), and have a cardiologist telling me he isn't sure this is a possibility for me. For both of us, it has to be a 'whatever' situation. We will be here as long as we are supposed to be and then we will go. Personally, I plan to stay near and keep an eye on the kids - but I don't even know if that's possible, or if I'll still want to by then. Am I not the cheeriest person you know? But you need to be ready. This is not bad, it is just different. And the difference can be a lovely time of life also.
Our minister is out of town, so our deacon preached the service yesterday. For the first time in my life I heard a sermon on Mother's Day. At one point he asked all the women to stand as they are the created persons who carry new life. Then he asked the girl children to stand for a blessing also, for the future. This is a touchy subject. I hope we didn't have anyone there who had wanted children and were unable to have them. We have several in this situation that I know of, but they all adopted, so were mothers. Being a preacher takes a lot of consideration.
If I do agree to lead the new Bible sudy, I had planned on either John or Daniel, and suddenly I am seeing Psalms wherever I look. Whatever. I can do that too, but hope to have a DVD so that when I have to be away, someone else can cover for me. I can't be counted on every single Sunday at this point in my life.
In spite of the setbacks, we forge on. Dad is at the center playing pool with his buddies and i am headed for there to sit with the crafts group. I was supposed to take the wheel and spin, but don't feel able to haul it down there, so I'll knit or crochet or something. Talking is what we do mostly.